Responding to People and Communities in Crisis
Carmen’s story
In 2024, Carmen was diagnosed with terminal cancer, which left her feeling concerned about her daughter Lily’s future.
Carmen recently got in touch with the team at the Freemasons’ Charity to share her story and express her immense gratitude for the support she and her daughter have received during a time of crisis.
“My father is a Freemason, so when I was diagnosed, he contacted his Provincial Grand Almoner, Malcolm Fairie, to find out what help might be available to us. As a single parent, I was worried about Lily’s future and education. She has autism and had just started university at the time, so I felt that she would need additional support,” said Carmen.
Carmen, daughter of a Freemason
The Freemasons’ Charity has supported Lily with her maintenance loan while she is living away from home at university. The charity can help young people in education or training to achieve their potential and maximise their talents and in this case under exceptional circumstances. As Carmen had to stop working because of her illness, this assistance proved to be a real lifeline.
When discussing Lily’s progress and the support she has received, Carmen said: “She has done amazingly well with budgeting, without much help from me. She has been able to set money aside to serve as her emergency fund; it’s her security. I see it as the difference between her feeling vulnerable and feeling secure, knowing that she has a bit of extra leeway. It gives me peace of mind knowing she has the safety net that parents would usually be able to provide.”
Lily is also receiving support from her university, such as specialist equipment for her autism, to help her learn in the way that works best for her.
The thought of Lily being completely on her own in a few years was terrifying for me. But the financial help she has received has made such a difference because I know that she has support in place that I may not be able to provide if I’m no longer around.
Around the time the Freemasons’ Charity agreed to support Lily, Carmen’s oncologist advised that there was an additional targeted cancer drug treatment available called Bevacizumab (Avastin). It works by starving the tumour of its blood supply, helping it to work in conjunction with chemotherapy and making the treatment more effective. It offers an opportunity to improve patients’ chances and potentially extend their lives.
“I couldn’t afford it, so my friends set up a GoFundMe which covered my initial treatment. My oncologist said it could be operable, but I needed further treatment, so it was a desperate situation. Malcolm and a Visiting Volunteer called Sharon put forward a case of support for me to the Freemasons’ Charity, and the charity covered three months of treatment,” said Carmen.
Visiting Volunteers are trained and vetted members of the Freemasonry community who make confidential home visits to help people in their local area to complete an application for a grant. Each month, they support hundreds of people who are seeking support. Since becoming a Visiting Volunteer last year, Sharon Dilley has played a vital role in supporting Carmen.
Sharon and her late husband, Peter Dilley (Visiting Volunteer)
My late husband, Peter Dilley, was an active Freemason in the Monmouthshire Province. Shortly before his death, he was completing application forms for treatment similar to Carmen’s, but sadly it was too late for him. I was extremely grateful for the support towards his funeral costs. After retiring from a banking career in 2023, I was looking for a volunteering role when Malcolm approached me to write Peter’s prostate cancer story. This led to me becoming a Visiting Volunteer. Six months after meeting Carmen, I alerted Malcolm to changes in her cancer treatment during a review. Carmen is a truly brave person whose battle with cancer reminded me of my late husband’s attitude to cancer and his fight to live.
Unfortunately, the tumour didn’t shrink enough to be operable, but Carmen and her oncologist are certain that it extended her life, and that she wouldn’t be here today without it.
It was amazing to find out that there was support for me – I couldn’t believe it was possible. When you face something awful on your own, you don’t have the money, and you’re looking at death, it feels like there’s nowhere to turn. So it literally was a lifesaver for me; the light at the end of the tunnel. It allowed me to make more plans for Lily and spend more time with her. This grant has saved my life, and I’m massively grateful.
Carmen is especially thankful for Malcolm and Sharon’s care and reassurance, knowing that the same support will continue to be available to Lily in the future.
Lily is working hard at university to eventually pursue a career in museum studies, specifically conservation and restoration. Everyone at the Freemasons’ Charity wishes her the very best in her future.
